Roots Rock Reggae Foundation Preservation

This is my Portfolio Blog - Personal collections, rare records, archives, and catalogues.— documents and creative content. Reggae music Cassette Analog, Toronto Radio, Studio Sessions and Sound Station - cassette tapes, stage shows, radio recordings and one-hit wonders with random articles and notes of thoughts that never left my head. It’s a mix of reflections & opinions into my collection—from analogue to digital, copywriting, graphic design - Digital Visual Audio & Publications

Wednesday, February 12, 2025

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Nova Scotia MY FAMILY TREE

My story begins with my parents, who were married at the young age of 17.

Both sides of my family hail from Oxford, Nova Scotia, a small, close-knit community. Generations of my ancestors were raised in the same neighborhood, making the familial bonds deep and intricate.

My mother gave birth to me at 23, after several years of trying to conceive. Both my parents struggled with alcoholism, which colored much of my early life. Both my parents lived with my great-grandmother, who doted on my father and took excellent care of him. However, as the economic opportunities in Nova Scotia were limited, my grandmother arranged for my father to find employment in Toronto with his uncle, Donald.

A New Beginning in Toronto

My parents moved to Toronto together while my mother was pregnant with me, their relationship was fraught with tension. I have no memory of living with my father, as my parents likely separated soon after moving. My mother got pregnant with my sister when I was just nine months old, and she gave birth to her when I was 17 months old. Despite their efforts, my parents continued to struggle with alcoholism.

My grandmother, worried about our well-being, she frequently traveled between Nova Scotia and Toronto, always keeping a close eye on me. She favored me and my father, and her love provided a semblance of stability in my otherwise chaotic life.

Growing Up in Chaos

Throughout my childhood, I often felt unsafe. My parents eventually divorced, and my father remarried. His second wife, my stepmother, tried to provide a sense of normalcy, but my father’s frequent incarcerations and continued drinking marred our visits. My stepmother had two sons with my father, one of whom died as a baby, and the other grew up in a different part of the family.

I felt a strong sense of responsibility for my younger sister, who was very attached to my mother. Our home was a tumultuous place, filled with arguments and instability. I often put my sister to bed, ensuring she didn’t see the worst of our mother’s condition. Despite the chaos, I never confided in anyone about our home life, driven by a mixture of embarrassment and a desire to avoid additional trouble.

Teenage Years and Independence

I sought refuge outside our home, spending as much time as possible away from the turmoil. By sixteen, I was pregnant, which inadvertently became my escape route from an unbearable situation. I sought refuge outside our home, spending as much time as possible away from the turmoil. When I was 20 my father passed away after becoming a quadriplegic due to a fall while drunk, and my beloved grandmother died lonely in a care home far from where she spent her life nurturing her family. I was 18 when she died.

My mother’s health deteriorated due to her alcoholism, and she eventually succumbed to cancer. Despite our strained relationship, I took care of her during her illness, moving her into my home and ensuring she received the necessary treatment. Her passing was a profound shock, and I often questioned if I could have done more for her.

Music: A Lifeline

Amidst the chaos, music was my sanctuary. From a young age, I was drawn to it, Before television The fiddles and violins making up the classic country echoing my household, sad songs for drunk people I called it. Later discovering reggae music turning the radio dial to another sound till I found the one for me. Music provided an escape, a way to drown out the arguments and find solace. It became my refuge and my passion, shaping my identity and giving me strength.

I meticulously collected cassettes, recording radio shows and building a library of music that spoke to my soul. Despite the lack of understanding from friends and family, I clung to my music, which became a constant companion through the darkest times.

Legacy and Reflection

Reflecting on my life, I realize that I was born to care for my mother in her final years. Despite the hardships, I believe I fulfilled my purpose. My parents, though flawed, loved each other and me. I was raised by a community of strong individuals, especially my grandmother, whose love and care I will always cherish.

Toronto, my birthplace, shaped my identity and provided me with the resilience to navigate life’s challenges. I am proud of my roots in Nova Scotia and the family from which I come, but I am equally proud of the life I have built in Toronto. Music remains my guiding light, teaching me lessons that no one else could. It has been my refuge, my strength, and my joy, and I am committed to preserving its power for future generations.

Bookmarks

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